Hale- Epidural- Now
by tatalol
Summary: In which Kat has gone into labor, but the hospital is running low on epidural. What does Hale do? He enlists the help of the Bagshaw's of course. Comedy and maybe some fluff. Oneshot.


**AN: So this fan fiction was my sister's idea. She doesn't have or want a fan fiction account, but she had a really good idea and I hope I did it justice. Tell me what you think.**

"HALE!" Katarina Bishop Hale screamed Friday November 12th. Hale was standing in the hallway of a hospital, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for a nurse to pass by.

"I'm working on it sweet heart," he called back. She had gone into labor an hour ago and she had only been saying three words since then. _Hale_, _epidural_, and _now. _Gabby was stuck in Hong Kong, Simon was in Florida, and both Uncle Eddie and Bobby were in Canada, but Angus and Hamish Bagshaw were on their way.

"Hale," Kat's voice came again, but this time sounding impossibly sad. Hale threw his head back and closed his eyes.

"Yes Kitty-Kat?" he called back quietly.

"Will you com back here please?" He was about to go back in when he say a nurse at the end of the hall.

"I found the nurse. I- hold on Kat. Just… wait." He bolted down the hallway nearly crashing into the woman.

"Oh my," the woman said. "Are you quiet alright, sir?"

"Yea- I'm good. Listen, uh, ma'am, can I have some of that epidural stuff?"

"Sir," the woman said smiling lightly. "I'm not sure you know what that is."

"It's for my pregnant wife and she's in pain so if I could just have a spoonful or a cup or whatever it is you put the stuff in I'd really appreciate it."

"I'm sorry sir but we have a waiting list and we're running low, but if you tell me your wife's name and room number I will add her to the list and send the epidural as soon as I can."

"I see okay, uh, Katarina Hale room 273b and you know what why don't you take this for being so helpful." And with that Hale handed her a wad of hundred dollar bills.

"Sir you can't bribe me," the woman replied holding the money out for Hale to take back. Hale threw his hands in the air and made a noise of exasperation as he turned and marched back down the hall. Behind him the woman shrugged and tucked the money into her bra.

Back in the room, Hale stood leaning over his grumpy sweaty wife.

"I'm sorry Kat," he murmured stroking her hair. "Evidently there is a waiting list. She wouldn't take a bribe or anything."

"It's okay," she whispered. Her anger had faded. Now she was just in pain, tired, and rather sad. He continued stoking her hair.

"I promise I'll get it, Kat." But she made no indication that she had heard him. Her next contraction came soon after and he held her shoulders and told her it would be okay until it was done. Angus stuck his head into the room a moment later.

"Hey Hale," he said. "Is this a bad time?"

"Actually I wanted to talk to you in the hallway," Hale said. "I'll be back in a minute, Kat." He kissed her forehead and ushered Angus out of the room and into the hall where Hamish was waiting.

"I have a job for you guys," he said with a grin.

And that's how Angus ended up sitting in an air duct looking down on a perky blond nurse as Hamish dressed as an old woman screamed about the pain in her right hip.

"Ma'am I understand that you're in pain. If you could just-"

"No you listen to me," Hamish cried in the best old lady voice he could muster. "I'm going to tell everyone that nurse Donaly struck me. I'm going to destroy this place!"

"What do you mean?"

"Ahhhh!" Hamish screamed and began wheeling his wheelchair down the hallway.

"Ma'am please stop," the nurse screamed running after her. "Ma'am!" Angus crawled back down the ducts until he was over the medicine room. He unscrewed the bolts and dropped into the room. _How am I supposed to know which one is the epidural?_

Back in Kat's room, Kat was screaming bloody murder and cracking Hale's fingers between her own.

"It's okay Kitty-Kat," he murmured. "Hamish and Angus are on the job."

"I need it now, Hale," she replied. "I really need it now."

"I know, dear," he said. "Maybe I should go see what's taking so long."

"No!" Kat's voice sounded panicked. "You have to stay here with me."

"Okay it's okay," he said trying to calm her.

"No it's not okay," she cried. "You have to stay- ow ow ow!" She was crying and screaming at the same time. Hale bit his lip and tried to calm her and comfort her at the same time. Meanwhile…

"No ma'am, you can't go there," Hamish cried in his most womanly voice. _Oh great,_ Angus thought as he desperately tried to pick the lock on the epidural case.

"Why not?" the woman asked. Instead of a response Angus heard a loud thud which he took to mean meant that Hamish had "fainted". The case opened and Angus slipped several containers into his pockets just as the door opened.

"Ma'am please," Hamish cried stopping when he saw his brother. "Run!" He screamed and the Bagshaws took off running.

"Stop them!" the nurse screamed barreling after them. "They have the epidural!" A second later about forty woman were chasing the Bagshaw's through the hospital in wheelchairs with their frantic husbands close behind.

"Honey," one of the husbands called. "Maybe you should just calm down."

"What did you just say?" one of the women screeched.

"It was him," the same man yelled pointing at the poor guy next to him.

"Get that boy and that woman!" Another woman screamed. "They have the drugs!"

"Listen," Angus said as they ran. "It's pretty obvious were not both going to make it."

"No! Don't say that," Hamish cried. He had abandoned his wheelchair and was now holding his wig with one hand and prosthetic upper regions with the other. "We're so close, bro."

"No," Angus panted he pulled one case of epidural out of his pocket and pressed it into his brothers hand. "Take this to Kat. Tell her and Hale I love them."

"No!" Hamish screamed as Angus slowed. a moment later he was attacked by the women.

"Me first!" one woman screamed. "I'm having twins!" Hamish looked over his shoulder as he ran and caught his brother mouth _keep running. _He turned forward and his head collided with the opening door to Kat's room. The last thing he saw as he blacked out was Hale looking down at him and he held up the epidural before his vision went black.

When Hamish woke up later he was lying on a hospital bed. To his left was Angus with his arm in a sling, a black eye, and an ice pack pressed to a bump on his head. To his right Hale was leaning over Kat who was holding a little baby in her arms. The whole family was standing slightly farther off. Gabby saw him and waved.

"Hey boys," she called. "What happened to you two?"

"Don't. Even. Ask," Hamish grumbled.

**AN: I hope that didn't suck because I'm rather proud of it. Is that bad? Anyway, thank you to my sister gave me this idea. I hope I did it justice. Tell me what you think, please.**


End file.
